Frozen Parodies: TORCHWOOD
by pinkflyingtiger11
Summary: Ever wondered what Torchwood would be like if it were a musical? Well, you're about to find out. Here are some of the songs from Frozen re-written to suit some of the main events which have happened in Torchwood :) Yay Janto and stuff. Cannon ships only. HATERS TO THE LEFT.
1. Do you want to hunt some weevils?

**A/N This is how Jack coped with the loss of Ianto Jones. From being generally hysterical to incredibly depressed, this is a JANTO ship chapter! :) Also, 'The One That Hates Cannon' helped me write this in secret during our English lesson once so, thanks Lauren :) **

Do you wanna hunt some weevils?

Come on let's go and play ;)

I never see you any more, Come out the morgue,

It's like you've gone away…

We used to be best buddies,

Well, more than that.

I wish you would tell me whyyyyy!

Do you wanna hunt some weevils?

Or chase some monsters down the hall?

I think some company is overdue,

I've started talking to,

The corpses in the morgue…

\- Hang in there Suzie! -

It gets a little lonely,

All these empty rooms,

Watching the hours tick byyyyy

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

Ianto, I know you're in there…

Rhiannon's asking where you've been…

Gwen says have courage and I'm trying to!

I'm right out here, for you!

Just let me in…

We only have each other…

It's just you and me…

What are we gonna do…

Do you… Wanna hunt some weevils?


	2. For the first time in forever

**A/N So I did another one. It's not as good, I'm not a song writer or anything so some lines are totally pointless because Wobbegongs. But anyway, this is about the first time Ianto went out on a field mission but he was surprised that he was allowed after what happened with Lisa. He hopes that after this he'll be noticed more by Jack and their relationship will become closer but Jack is scared that Ianto will find out about his immortality and his traumatic and complicated past.  
**

**IANTO:**

The office is open,

So's the car door,

I didn't know they'd let me anymore,

Who knew we owned eight thousance empty crates.

For years I've roamed this old archive,

I barely needed to arrive,

Finally I don't know what awaits!

They'll be an actual real-life mystery,

It will be totally strange,

Wow am I so ready for this change?

'Cause for the first time in forever,

They'll be weapons, they'll be a fight!

For the first time in forever,

I'll be hunting aliens through the night.

Don't know if I'm elated or gassy,

But I'm somewhere in that zone,

'Cause for the first time in forever,

I won't be left all alone.

Tonight imagine me out on call,

Shoving a criminal against the wall,

Saving the Earth from threats from outer space!

I suddenly see him standing there,

My wonderful captain; tall and fair!

He even brought his pistol in its case.

But then we laugh and talk all evening,

Which is totally bizarre,

Nothing like our relationship so far!

'Cause for the first time in forever,

They'll be magic, they'll be fun!

For the first time in forever,

I could be noticed by the one,

And I know it is totally crazy,

To dream we'll have romance,

But for the first time in forever,

At least I've got a chance!

**JACK: **Don't let him in…

Don't let him see…

I'll keep my distance and he'll get over me…

Conceal, don't feel…

Put on a show!

Make one wrong move and then all my team will know…

But it's only for today.

**IANTO: **It's only for today :(

**JACK: **It's agony to wait!

**IANTO: **It's agony to wait!

**JACK: **Tell Owen to open up the gate!

**IANTO: **The gaaaatee!

For the first time in forever,

**JACK: **Don't let him in, don't let him see.

**IANTO: **I'm getting what I'm dreaming of,

**JACK: **I'll keep my distance and he'll get over me…

**IANTO: **A chance to change my lonely world,

**JACK: **Conceal…

**IANTO: **A chance to prove my love!

**JACK: **Conceal don't feel don't let him knoooow.

**IANTO: **But it will probably be over tomorrow,

So I better get it done for today!

'Cause for the first time in forever…

It all will be okayyyy!


	3. Love is an Open Door

**A/N: Jack and Ianto sing their version of 'Love is an open door'. I didn't get to change much of this so a lot of it is still original Frozen lyrics (not mine). Buuut, there are some changes which are very noticeable. Enjoy! ^.^**

Ianto: Can I just say something crazy?

Jack: I love crazy!

Ianto: All my life there has been dangers that I've had to face,

Then suddenly I start stalking you.

Jack: I was thinking the same thing, 'cause like,

I've been trying my whole life to get back to space,

Especially after the trials that we've been put through,

Ianto: But with you Jack: But with you

Jack: I don't need space, Ianto: Got past third base,

Jack &amp; Ianto: And it's nothing like I've ever known before,

Love is an open door,

Love is an open door,

Life could be so much more,

Ianto: With you

Jack: With you

Ianto: With you

Jack: With you

Jack &amp; Ianto: Love is an open door.

Jack: I mean it's crazy

Ianto: What?

Jack: We finish each other's

Ianto: Takeaways

Jack: That's what I was gonna say!

Ianto: I've never met someone

Jack &amp; Ianto: Who cares so much about me.

Jinx! Jinx again!

Our mental synchronization

Can have but one explanation

Jack: You

Ianto: And I

Jack: Were

Ianto: Just

Jack &amp; Ianto: Meant to be

Ianto: Say goodbye

Jack: Say goodbye

Jack &amp; Ianto: To the pain of the past

We don't have to feel it any more

Love is an open door

Love is an open door

Life can be so much more

Ianto: With you

Jack: With you

Ianto: With you

Hans: With you

Jack and Ianto: Love is an open door


	4. Let It Go

**A/N This is all about Jack's immortality after everyone in team knows about it. He's trying to relax and stop being stressed about hiding his 'power' in front of the others. **

The stars shine bright in the city tonight,

Nothing alien to be seen,

A world of isolation,

And it looks like I'm unseen,

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside,

It's hard to keep it in,

Heaven knows I've tried.

Don't let them in,

Don't let them see,

I'll keep my distance and they'll get over me,

Conceal don't feel,

Don't let them know…

Well now they know.

Let it go,

Let it go,

Can't excuse it any more,

Let it go,

Let it go,

Won't matter if I'm dead on the floor,

I don't care,

What they're going to say,

Let time go on,

I never seem to age anyway…

It's funny how on high buildings,

How everything seems small,

And the fears than once controlled you,

Can't get to you at all.

It's time to see what I can do

To test the limits and break through

No right, no wrong, no rules for me,

I'm free!

Let it go,

Let it go,

I could jump through the wind and sky,

Let it go,

Let it go,

They'll never see me cry!

Here I stand,

In the heart of the bay,

Let time go on…

My power is a curse and to me it is bound,

My soul is black at heart and hurts the people all around,

And one thought could affect how long the world may last,

I'm never going back,

The past is in the past.

Let it go,

Let it go,

And I'll rise like the break of dawn,

Let it go,

Let it go,

My life will never be gone.

Here I stand,

In the heart of the bay,

Let time rage on!

I never seem to age anyway…


	5. Weevils are better than people

**A/N: Short and sweet as they say. Not that great, but whatever. If you don't know who Janet is, do your homework (basically she is one of the weevils that Torchwood have down in the cells). I guess this kind of reflects Owen being 'King of the Weevils' :D**

**I also want to give special thanks toooo 'Mitzia' for being my first follow and favourite. Also thanks to those people who reviewed this, Xandraluna and a guest. So yeah, you are my favourite people right now. :) **

**ANYWAY, On with the song:**

**Owen:** Weevils are better than people,

Janet don't you think that's truuue?

**Janet (Owen):** Yeah people will zap you and shoot you and trap you,

Every one of them's bad except you.

**Owen:** But people smell better than weevils,

Janet don't you think I'm right,

**Janet (Owen):** That's once again true,

For all except you.

**Owen:** You got me,

Let's call it a night.

Goooood niiiggghhht!

Don't let the mayflies

Biiiiitee.


	6. At Torchwood

**A/N: This is set just before Gwen begins work at Torchwood, she kind of fancies Jack to begin with although Owen and Tosh think that Jack is gay and that Gwen's affections will not be returned.**

**I would like to say that I am not a Gwen basher and don't think she actually had that much of an obsession with Jack. I mean Gwen is a total Janto shipper in CoE so clearly she got over Jack pretty quickly.**

**Also obviously I own neither Frozen nor Torchwood. Yaddayah… I mean come on, this is a website called ' ' I'm pretty certain if I owned either of them I would be publishing these as a book and not online. **

**GWEN:** The machines will buzz, and I'll be happy all because

I'll be copying whatever Jack does at Torchwood.

A coffee in my hand, playing with a stray rubber band,

Looking at Jack getting gorgeously tanned at Torchwood.

I'll finally get a decent job where somebody else completes my forms,

And find out what the others do as the norm.

And I can't wait to see, what my colleagues all think of me.

Just imagine how much cooler I'll be at Torchwood.

Dah dah, da doo, uh bah bah bah bah bah boo

Jack and I are both so intense,

Put us together it just makes sense!

Rrr Rat da dat dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah doo

When there's nothing on we'd stay in and cuddle,

But when I get home Rhys will be a— Happy boyfriend!

When life gets rough, I like to hold on to my dream,

Of relaxing with my boss and just lettin' off steam.

Oh our love will be true, and the others will be there too

When I finally do what employees do at Torchwood!

**OWEN:** I'm gonna tell her.

**TOSHIKO:** Don't you dare!

**GWEN:** At Torchwoooooood!

**A/N: Final note, I'd like to say thanks to the following people: vellymymare, TheDoctorsWarrior and another guest for being lovely enough to leave really sweet reviews 3 lovehearts to you all. Mega thanks to TheDoctorsWarrior again and also katelynthemightyunicorn for favourite-ing. Also, note for katelynthemightyunicorn, I feel like we are sort of psychically linked because my name is Caitlin and my other alias is rainbow the unicorn…. O.O **

**And one more huge thank you to TheDoctorsWarrior for also following! You are a wonderful person by the way. **

**Still thanks to everyone else who I mentioned last chapter as well, I hope you're still enjoying my "work". ^.^**


	7. For the first time in forever REPRISE!

**A/N: This is… Sort of cannon… This is a little exchange between Jack and Ianto when Ianto's trying to stay with Jack and to help him when he's doubting he'll be able to stop his brother Gray and John Hart who are dangers brought on by Jack's complicated past. He feels guilty and responsible and just wants Ianto to be safe and to live a normal life away from him because he feels like he carries too much of a burden.**

**Yeah, so I hope you enjoy! A lot of the words stayed the same so all credit to RTD and the people/person who wrote the songs from Frozen :) **

**IANTO:**

You don't have to protect me I'm not afraid

Please don't shut me out again,

Please don't slam the door

You don't have to keep your distance anymore

'Cause for the first time in forever,

I finally understand

For the first time in forever,

We can fix this hand in hand

We can walk out of the hub together

You don't have live in fear

Cause for the first time in forever,

I will be right here

**JACK:**

Ianto,

Please go away, it was only a few dates

You're so young I'm sure someone else awaits…

**IANTO:**

Yeah, but —

**JACK:**

I know you mean well,

But leave me be

Yes, I'm alone but I want you to be free…

Just stay away and you'll be safe from me

**IANTO:**

Actually we're not

**JACK:**

What do you mean you're not?

**IANTO:**

I get the feeling you don't know

**JACK:**

What do I not know?

**IANTO:**

John Hart and Gray are trying to kill us so….

**JACK:**

What?

**IANTO:**

You've kind of made them angry so they're trying to make you hurt by killing us…

**JACK:**

All of you?

**IANTO:**

It's okay, you can just talk them out of it!

**JACK:**

No, I can't, I — I don't know how!

**IANTO:**

Sure you can! I know you can!

Cause for the first time in forever,

**JACK:**

Oh I'm such a fool, you can't be free!

**IANTO:**

You don't have to be afraid

**JACK:**

No escape from the storm inside of me!

**IANTO:**

We can work this out together

**JACK:**

Being with me's like a curse!

**IANTO:**

We'll reverse the damage Gray's done!

**JACK:**

Ianto, please, you'll only make it worse!

**IANTO:**

Don't panic

**JACK:**

There's so much fear!

**IANTO:**

We'll save the city!

**JACK:**

You're not safe here!

**IANTO:**

We can face your brother together!

**JACK:**

No!

**IANTO:**

I don't mind that you'll live forever!

**JACK:**

AHHHHH...

**IANTO:**

And everything will be all right...

**JACK:**

I CAN'T!


	8. Fixer-Upper

**A/N: Hey bezzos, I know it's been a while but here is the next chapterrrr!  
As per usual, I own nothing. The clue's in the name "FAN-FICTION" because it's by fans, not the actual creators. I haven't changed everything but I hope you enjoy it! **

**It's about Gwen, Ianto and Jack shipping Towen (Tosh and Owen) and trying to get together even though there's like an alien rampage going on. Enjoy! (Also please read below A/N for important newwwws!) **

GWEN: What's the issue Tosh? Why are you holding back from such a man?

Is it the slouchy way he walks?

IANTO: Or the grumpy way he talks?

GWEN: Or the way he pulls your chair to rest his feet?

IANTO: Sometimes he doesn't wash that well,

he always ends up sorta smelly,

GWEN: And he's definitely not a fella who's that sensitive or sweet.

GWEN&amp;IANTO: So he's a bit of a fixer-upper,

So he's got a few flaws,

JACK: Like his love of cheap beer,

IANTO: And his lack of good cheer,

GWEN: And his inability to put things in draws,

OWEN: This is not about me!

GWEN&amp;IANTO&amp;JACK: So he's a bit of a fixer-upper,

But this we're certain of,

You can fix this fixer-upper up with a little bit of love!

TOSH: Can we please just stop talking about this? We've got a real, actual problem here.

GWEN: I'll say! So tell me Tosh,

Is it that he gets angry when he's scared?

IANTO: Or that he's socially impaired?

JACK: Or that he has a thing for jumpers with scary hoods?

TOSH: That is kind of weird...

IANTO: Do you think that he's not blessed,

Because he's annoying when he's stressed?

GWEN: Or can you honestly not accept that he's the honest goods?

GWEN&amp;IANTO&amp;JACK: He's just a bit of fixer-upper,

He's probably on drugs,

OWEN: No I'm not!

GWEN&amp;IANTO&amp;JACK: His isolation is confirmation,

Of his desperation for Toshiko hugs,

So he's a bit of a fixer-upper,

But we know what to do.

The way to fix this fixer-upper,

Is to fix him up with you!

OWEN: ENOUGH! She's only interested in work, okay?!

JACK: So she's a bit of fixer-upper,

IANTO: That's a minor thing...

JACK: Her work amazement is a flex arrangement,

GWEN: I still think there's happiness you could bring.

JACK&amp;IANTO: So she's a bit of a fixer-upper,

Her sexual preference is mixed,

Get her working day out of the way and,

The whole thing will be fixed.

GWEN: We're not saying you can change him,

'Cause people don't really change,

We're just saying that love's a force,

That's powerful and strange.

Owen makes bad choices when he's mad,

Or scared, Or stressed.

But throw a little love his way,

And you'll bring out his best!

JACK&amp;IANTO: True love brings out his best.

GWEN&amp;IANTO&amp;JACK: Everyone's a bit of a fixer-upper,

It's something we know about!

GWEN: Father!

IANTO: Sister!

JACK: Brother!

GWEN&amp;IANTO&amp;JACK: We need each other,

To cheer us up and remove doubt,

Everyone's a bit of a fixer-upper,

But when push comes to shove,

IANTO: The only fixer-upper fixer

That can fix a fixer-upper is...

GWEN: True! True!

GWEN&amp;IANTO&amp;JACK: TRUE LOVE!

**A/N: So I know this is now the end of the frozen cannon sing-along songs so I've decided to do a Tangled parody as well, let me know what you guys think by clicking the lovely shiny review button down below :) I love you all and thanks for reading this far, I hope you enjoyed. **

**Also particular thanks to these lot who are the last people going to be thanked for fav-ing and following and reviewing!**

**To my lovely reviewers: Guest (whoever you are), TheDoctorsWarrior and vellymymare.  
My amazing followers: Aqullann101 and malecXnicercyXdrarry  
And finally my TOTALLY AWESOME fav-ers: Aqullann101, madilove26 and RoseTheOwl!**

**See you on the other side my hairy little pallys :) **


End file.
